It's the season for resolutions - New Year, New Me, and all the shaming "not enough" rhetoric that goes with it. It may be time we shift our mindset about change and growth.
When we set resolutions, we often engage in a specific behavior that we hope will create change in our lives. Here are the problems with this approach: one, we are coming at change from a mindset that sees us as the problem; two, as soon as the circumstances of our lives change - our sleep is disrupted, we change jobs, conflict arises in a relationship, and our ability to sustain behavior change becomes limited, inevitably, we will see ourselves as the problem again and blame our lack of willpower or brokenness as the reason we didn't change.
Values work is different. Our values can be a lighthouse in calm or stormy waters. Each day, each hour, we can realign no matter the change in circumstances. If one of my values is health, I can ask myself in any situation what is the one thing I can and will do to help me align better with this value. It may be to sleep more and not get up for the 5:00 AM gym reservation. It could be to enjoy a delicious meal with my family or friends or go for a long walk. Intentions are rigid or chaotic, but values are steady and flexible and allow for life's twists and turns. After all, sustainable change happens in small realignments with our value system, one-degree turn after one-degree turn.
What are your core values?
Use these value cards to get started! https://www.motivationalinterviewing.org/sites/default/files/valuescardsort_0.pdf
here's a quick tutorial on our Instagram page